Humor from Kurt Luchs
The Canoe Of Death
Posted on July 31, 2019
* Welcome to The Big Jewel, where we are trying to keep up with the overwhelming demand for parodies of poems by D.H. Lawrence. You may not be aware that Lawrence wrote poems, but he did, and many of them were pretty damn great. Of course the greater the poem, the riper for parody. This week’s bit is to be read only after clicking on the link below and reading what is arguably Lawrence’s poetic masterpiece, “The Ship of Death”:
Humor from Ernst Luchs
The Santa Claus Poems
By: Ernst Luchs
Posted on December 7, 2005
A man goes far to find out what he is. Sometimes, at the end of his rainbow (or the end of his rope), he sees only a friendly stranger shrouded in multiple layers of yellow cellophane, someone who wants to groom wire-haired schnauzers for free, someone who calls late at night asking for Gary or Bernard. I’m referring, of course, to the life of Arnold Benjamin, poet and hemophiliac. Born in the furrow of a cornfield, he had a simple, grief-stricken childhood. Even so, he grew like a weed until by the age of 12 he was 27-years-old. He sprang upon the unsuspecting literary world in 1949 with his searing expose of the new counterculture festering in the subterranean gin mills of Wall Street. It was appropriately titled The Confessions of Little Boy Blue, a controversial goose egg, to say the least.
Humor from Helmut Luchs
Ask Doctor Drummond
By: Helmut Luchs
Posted on March 15, 2006
Dear Doctor Drummond,
If you ever met anyone who would stay up late to watch a Jerry Lewis picture on Turner Classic Movies, you have either met Jerry Lewis or my wife. If the person wore a hybrid wig of porcupine quills and crabgrass, it was my wife.
Humor from Rolf Luchs
The Ice Age Cometh
By: Rolf Luchs
Posted on August 2, 2006
For a long time, scientists across the country have noticed that of all species, white rats are the most likely to end up behind bars; that white blood cells perform better on standardized tests than red ones; and that snow, also, has a certain blank, whitewashed quality not unlike Mel Gibson’s initial DUI arrest report. Coincidentally, they’ve also found there to be a strong statistical correlation between falling temperatures and the falling of snow, but up until now there has been no cause for alarm.
Humor by Phil Austen
* Welcome to The Big Jewel, which is like a finger painting about the art of laughter. This week we welcome our dear friend Phil Austin (yes, that Phil Austin, of the Firesign Theatre), who has an artsy piece all his own. The word picture he paints is not pretty, but then comedy never is.
Art Of The Insane
By: Phil Austin
Posted on July 25, 2012
Well, here you go and there you go. You’re back and I’m still here, week after blessed week. I’m Billy Flamnigan and I’m on TV and today if you’ll stick with me, we’ll find out how to achieve the kind of art on canvas that the truly insane seem to be able to paint with little or no effort or thought.